Philosophy and Things That Matter

So the title of my blog is haunting me - it's plenty accurate except for that one big word, Philosophical. I do a lot of what you might call 'deep' thinking, but most of it I don't ever really talk about, much less post on my blog. Why is that? Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of sounding stupid, of looking like an idiot, but more than that, I'm afraid that I'll discover that I don't 'own my faith' like I should. Do I even really know what I believe?
I've been trying to study philosophy, mostly by talking to my father and reading books, especially the Bible - but that's not really what I meant when I put the word Philosophical in the title of my blog. What did I mean? I'm not sure what it meant at the time - probably something about maturity, and trying to act smarter than I really am. Here's what it means now...
I may not know exactly what I believe about every topic of discussion yet, but I'm trying to figure it out. I definitely don't know everything about everything, but I'm willing to learn. I make a lot of mistakes, and one of them is that I don't like having my mistakes corrected, but my humility and obedience are both works in progress, as is everything else about me.
I don't really know if any of my 'deep thinking' is philosophy per se, but honestly, I don't really care. I think about things that, to me, really matter, as opposed to the next TV show or the next movie star that everyone thinks is so great. Things like, what's the difference between a crush and love, how can you tell in your own life or in someone else's, and what to do in both cases? A problem that is different every time it comes calling. Because these are problems that people really struggle with, things that actually affect my life. Things like, how do you tell a friend that she needs to stop complaining, and how do you tell an adult or someone in authority that they are wrong? I've found it's best just to let them be wrong. What should you do when someone offends you on accident, and how should you respond to gossip? But that's not really what I'd call 'deep' just yet. 'Deep' is more like, is it possible to have inner joy when you're really sad, and is it more important to be happy or to make other people happy? Usually I try to make other people happy. At what point does hanging out with friends of the opposite gender becoming flirting, and how do you stop that from becoming a problem? I think about what the best way to help my friends might be, and whether or not I should tell this person what I really think about their problems, or should I just listen to them talk and be encouraging? Usually I just listen and comfort.
Well I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with all this - I guess I'm just rambling. But it helps me think things through when I write about them or talk about them, even if what I have to say doesn't necessarily make any sense.
Now I'm off to the deep moral quandaries of geometry.
Signing off,
MaryLynn, the rambling, self-confusing amateur philosopher
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