Philosophy and Things That Matter

So the title of my blog is haunting me - it's plenty accurate except for that one big word, Philosophical. I do a lot of what you might call 'deep' thinking, but most of it I don't ever really talk about, much less post on my blog. Why is that? Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of sounding stupid, of looking like an idiot, but more than that, I'm afraid that I'll discover that I don't 'own my faith' like I should. Do I even really know what I believe?
I've been trying to study philosophy, mostly by talking to my father and reading books, especially the Bible - but that's not really what I meant when I put the word Philosophical in the title of my blog. What did I mean? I'm not sure what it meant at the time - probably something about maturity, and trying to act smarter than I really am. Here's what it means now...
I may not know exactly what I believe about every topic of discussion yet, but I'm trying to figure it out. I definitely don't know everything about everything, but I'm willing to learn. I make a lot of mistakes, and one of them is that I don't like having my mistakes corrected, but my humility and obedience are both works in progress, as is everything else about me.
I don't really know if any of my 'deep thinking' is philosophy per se, but honestly, I don't really care. I think about things that, to me, really matter, as opposed to the next TV show or the next movie star that everyone thinks is so great. Things like, what's the difference between a crush and love, how can you tell in your own life or in someone else's, and what to do in both cases? A problem that is different every time it comes calling. Because these are problems that people really struggle with, things that actually affect my life. Things like, how do you tell a friend that she needs to stop complaining, and how do you tell an adult or someone in authority that they are wrong? I've found it's best just to let them be wrong. What should you do when someone offends you on accident, and how should you respond to gossip? But that's not really what I'd call 'deep' just yet. 'Deep' is more like, is it possible to have inner joy when you're really sad, and is it more important to be happy or to make other people happy? Usually I try to make other people happy. At what point does hanging out with friends of the opposite gender becoming flirting, and how do you stop that from becoming a problem? I think about what the best way to help my friends might be, and whether or not I should tell this person what I really think about their problems, or should I just listen to them talk and be encouraging? Usually I just listen and comfort.
Well I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with all this - I guess I'm just rambling. But it helps me think things through when I write about them or talk about them, even if what I have to say doesn't necessarily make any sense.
Now I'm off to the deep moral quandaries of geometry.
Signing off,
MaryLynn, the rambling, self-confusing amateur philosopher
*~ <3 ~*

Home home home!

So I didn't write about the rest of my trip each day, because I'm lazy. Deal with it.
But I did have a really good time! I've talked about the crazy fun times I had lots of other places and to lots of other people, so I'm not going to bother writing it up here - again, I'm lazy. :p
Suffice to say, I had an excellent time with excellent people. I missed my friends terribly, but nothing could be done about that. My schedule for the future remains busy, but still happy and enjoyable. Praise God! That's all for now - again with the laziness. I really should work on that... nah. :)
Signing out,
MaryLynn
*~ <3 ~*

Day Four, Relaxing

This morning we all got up at six AM and went over to a dock where we were planning on heading out from for a six-hour deep-sea-fishing trip... but it got cancelled due to weather issues. So we drove back to the condo (stopping by Krispy Kreme's on the way, to my delight) and have been relaxing all day since then. We walked down to the beach and played horseshoes, mom and I walked down the beach looking for shells (and I found some really good spirally ones) and I got VERY wet and salty wading out into the ocean. It's perfect for Ultimate Marine Frisbee - waist deep, slow rolling waves that aren't very tall - if only we had a good enough frisbee. Matt's out buying one right now.
Well I might write more later, but for now I'm going to work on my schoolwork for a while, so as not to be too behind when I get home.
Signing off,
MaryLynn the salty and happy

Day Three, Vamos a Florida

(Note: This is from yesterday, May 17th, but I haven't had much internet access until today)
Louisiana – land of the bridges!
We left College Station early this morning and headed for Florida! Right now we are stopped at Sonic in Louisiana, we just passed through New Orleans and before that, Baton Rogue. Did you know that means Red Stick? I wonder why they named it that...
In other news, I've decided that my new culinary indulgence is French Fries. Also, it was very interesting to stop at a gas station and see palm trees instead of cactus, while we were still in Texas! In Louisiana the trees we've seen are mostly big and tall, and adapted to LOTS of water. And oh, the bridges! We've been on more bridges this morning than I think I've been on in my whole life – and one of them was TWENTY-FOUR miles long. The other ones weren't too shabby either, although I don't know how long they were precisely.
Sweet Home Alabama – not that noticeably different from Louisiana, although not quite so wet.
This is the problem with just driving through places – you don't really get any experience of that place. To me, Alabama is yet another long bridge, TONS of green trees, green grass, green water, and wet rain, and a country song that I love to listen to. Rain has been our constant companion on this trip, from Texas to Alabama, and there's a 30% chance of rain tomorrow morning, when we have a reservation to go deep-sea fishing. Hopefully we will arrive in Destin about 7:00 PM (an hour or so from now) and have time to unpack, eat dinner, and maybe go swimming for a little while and then head to bed early, so as to get up before the crack of dawn and head out on the ocean.

Days one and two - College Station

We left Abilene yesterday morning around 10 AM and drove to College Station for Matt's graduation. It was a long car drive (the air conditioner only works if you are NOT accelerating) and when we arrived we changed and headed right on over to the Blue Baker, a sandwich shop, to meet family before the ceremony. The ceremony itself was about two hours and forty minutes long (I finished my book and drew for a LONG while) and it was interesting to note how many of the names in the Engineering class at A&M had distinctively foreign names. After the ceremony we headed to Matt's place and stayed until about one-thirty, playing forty-two, talking about books and movies, and just hanging out.
The next day, this morning, we had a delicious breakfast with the couple we are staying with - fresh fruit, apple bread, pigs-in-blankets, and blueberry muffins. mm mm good! Then we went to the George Bush Library (where I saw a grand total of 0 (count 'em, zero) books. But it was still fairly interesting, a look into the life of one of our presidents. Maybe A&M's definition of 'library' is different than mine. Then, off to Half-Priced Books, where I (sadly) only found one book worth buying at a reasonable price, via the recommendation of my brother-in-law, Scott. Soon we'll be heading to Mom's friend Leslie's son's house for dinner (where Leslie who is by all reports a FANTASTIC cook will fix us supper) and then who knows.
The lovely thing about being on vacation is that I don't have to worry about getting anything done (except math and that pesky English essay) or attending any events (except the long ceremony). Well, one assumes that after I finish my assigned school I can start to REALLY relax, but already I'm feeling a little bit more free, more casual.
Alright, that's all for now! Tomorrow morning we leave for Florida eeaaarly in the morning. I'll write more either tomorrow afternoon or the next day.
Signing off for now!
MaryLynn
*~ <3 ~*

Anyone else?

So right now life is a little bit weird - as always, I suppose. There are lots of things going on, some not so happy, but a lot of them great and wonderful. Isn't that one of the defining characteristics of life in general - that it keeps going on and on no matter what? Whether I pass or fail my History final (crosses fingers), whether I catch up on school before we go on vacation or I have to do school in the car all the way to Florida, life goes on. Isn't it nice to have a constant in this world of changes and confusion?
So, is anyone else really confused? I don't know what to think about my life, or how I should feel. Sometimes everything is just bigger than me, or my friends. Good to know that nothing is bigger than God, eh?
Well I've been getting behind in school. I have to do a lot of catching up on Spanish and especially on Math. But then again, a week ago was my theatre performance, and last Wednesday was my History final, so both of those things are done. Tomorrow is my Spanish final, and then that will be over. My English final is due sometime between the 26th and the 1st, so I have some time on that one. Mostly I'm cramming to finish each English assignment before it's respective due dates, trying to get caught up on Math, and studying for Spanish. Blah, blah, school, blah.
In other news, I've been listening to a lot of fun country music lately - anyone else love Rascal Flatts and Dierks Bentley? I've also been reading good books lately - old faves like Tamora Pierce, and then also authors I've never heard of before. Can anyone recommend some good futuristic sci-fi novels? I've also been trying to learn how to drive, but Dad and I haven't had much time to practice, so I probably won't be able to get my license very quickly. Oh, and getting a job! Because I have to pay half of my camp tuition and the camp is $350. >.< So if anyone can reccommend a good place to work (or denounce a certain place as NOT somewhere I should work) please do!

Current Life

Well. Life. Yeah, about that...
Making college prep. plans
Trying to get a job
Finishing up my sophomore year
Learning how to drive
Saving money to pay for things like...
>gas
>insurance
>camps this summer
>presents for people
>texting
Performance this Monday - improv and Quilters
Final this Wednesday - History
Essay due Monday - English
Two weeks behind - Math
Emotional stress = ALL the time because
>people ask me for advice - why me? I'm clueless!
>all the other stuff going on

More later - I gotto go eat now. :D